My Blog
Saturday, 26 August 2006


I hope I did that right.



One more time.

My sister and me with Jason. I am not with Jason any more but we are still really good friends. We are both too screwed up and we know it. I need a non-adoptee relationship because otherwise....we are too alike.

Posted by sonofasurrogate at 11:52 AM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 8 August 2007 6:05 PM EDT

Tuesday, 12 September 2006 - 12:14 AM EDT

Name: "joy"

am adding you to my links

Saturday, 21 October 2006 - 3:39 PM EDT

Name: "l"

i can't see any pics. love your blog! 

Saturday, 28 October 2006 - 5:10 PM EDT

Name: "mill"

Hi Brian,


I just sent you an e-mail at


do you still check that address? if not, could you drop me an e-mail, I would love to talk to you.




Friday, 3 November 2006 - 10:19 AM EST

Name: "mill"

Hi Brian,

 Since you haven't responded to my e-mail or my post here, I'll go ahead and say publicly what I wanted to e-mail you in private. It's very important to me to say this, and I hope you will read it.

 Up until last Saturday, my husband and I were seriously considering entering into a surrogacy agreement with a close friend of ours. I am infertile, my husband would have been the biological father, and our friend the surrogate/natural mother. I was hopeful and excited at the prospect, although I did have some nagging doubts. Before we finalized the agreement, I wanted to find out what children of surrogates had to say. For a while I couldn't find anything, then on Saturday I found your website. I couldn't stop crying reading it, it was absolutely devastating to me. I went on to other blogs and websites of children of surrogates, but they only confirmed what you said and only solidified what I knew after reading your site: I could not go ahead with this after knowing how it affects those who come forth from these arrangements. My worst fears were confirmed and more. I had my husband and my friend read your site and they agreed with me immediately. We've called it off. I am very sad, but mostly I'm relieved that I found your site before we had made a final agreement or my friend was pregnant. I don't even want to think about what that would have meant.

So I want you to know that your struggles haven't been in vain, at least in this one case, and even if we're the only ones, I think it was worth it. Thank you for preventing us from making such a grave mistake and for putting out there how you feel. I hope more people start listening to you.

All the best to you.



Monday, 6 November 2006 - 4:47 AM EST

Name: "brian"

Wow mill, thank you. You don't know how much it means to me to have just changed one persons mind. Bless you. Bless you for thinking about the children above your own needs and desires. I am sitting here crying, but they are happy tears.

Sunday, 12 November 2006 - 11:55 PM EST

Name: "Maria"
Home Page:


We've already exchanged e-mails privately with you but I wanted to post publicly as well. 

Just like "mill" above, we were very close to entering into a surrogacy agreement when we came across your post in a search for children of surrogates and how they feel.  I had had some doubts that I pushed aside, but by the time I finished your article, I knew I could never be involved in a surrogacy.  We notified our potential surrogate that we couldn't go through with it and left it at that.  Well, I came across her blog tonight, and - she also has changed her mind, after coming across your article during her own search for the same info- !  You should be really proud of what you've done...

As for us, we will pursue adoption.  But with a much deeper understanding of what our adopted child will feel, and rightfully so.

Sunday, 10 December 2006 - 11:20 AM EST

Name: "Kathleen"

Looking for my child now 16 not sure if this is the right page,whole family has been for 16 yrs.,my story is a very complicated one,if you are a child of a surrogate mom please email me

Thursday, 18 January 2007 - 10:45 PM EST

Name: "Veronica Thomas"
Home Page:

Everything you've said makes a lot of sense and is the truth. THanks so much for putting up your site. Here is mine:

Please feel free to visit!


Monday, 29 January 2007 - 10:55 PM EST

Name: "Jean Gene Bio Logic"
Home Page:

I am a mother who lost a baby to the infant adoption industry.  Like the "donor" businesses and the "surrogacy" brokers, the adoption businesses are making a killing - to the detriment of natural family members.  Even the "non-profits" are raking in the donations for this "charitable" work of getting babies for customers.  Many of the babies are from middle class families that are naive and know nothing about how a child - or mother - might really be affected throughout their lives.  The mothers of religious families are often forced by their parents to "give up" their babies if the mother is single the day their babies are born.

All these years after losing my child, I have been suffering from this tremendous loss.  But I thought my child was probably safe and well.  I was horrified when I learned the truth about how my adopted-out but now-adult child REALLY felt.  It was not good, not good at all.

And now that I see how businesses are selling human beings in the form of human sperm and eggs, and "using" women as "surrogates" -  I am absolutely disgusted.   I know the "donors" are naive...and no business should be permitted to lure them in, offering them money for their offspring. 



Tuesday, 30 January 2007 - 4:20 PM EST

Name: "Julie"
Home Page:


Someone sent me the link to your blog several months ago.  At the time, I was unaware that comments were allowed (or I would SURELY have commented).  Now that I have started blogging, I have learned a lot.

I hope you are still around and will come back to the blogosphere and write more.  Come visit me, too.

Massive hugs,


Friday, 4 May 2007 - 10:31 AM EDT

Name: "SarahUK"

Brian, are you still here? Please check youe emails.

Monday, 5 January 2009 - 11:57 PM EST

Name: "jim wilson"
Home Page:



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Saturday, 6 November 2010 - 1:33 AM EDT

Name: "Choi Yiu"

Hi mill

Moved by what you said. Can you pls share with me the links of other blogs and websites managed by surrogate children? Many thx!



Wednesday, 16 March 2011 - 11:00 AM EDT

Name: "cynthia"

i just read your serrogacy/adoption opinions from the child's point of view.....i am so sorry you have this pain in your life....i hope you find a way to resolve it one day.....but please can you stop talking for all kids...i am in the exact same situation as you... and have NONE of the same feelings that you do...i do not expect you to have the same views that i do about use of serrogacy or adoptions but i do have a big problem with you telling parents how "we kids" feel about what they did.....i ended up feeling like my parents wanted me so badly that they went out of their way to have me.....i felt wanted and loved......i will not say that all women choosing this path are good mothers or deserve to have children....neither do i belive that all parents choose to have their children naturally for the right reasons......i can also say that some women who choose to make money/pay money for having a child do so for the wrong reasons....but what you said was that from the child's point of view it is tramatizing and you comment how the child is left to feel like a comodity and unwanted by the egg doner

 you can tell me this is how YOU feel but please do not speak for me because i AM  a child like you who cannot dissagree with you more about how i feel about MY family...which was created EXACTLY like yours 

 i am proud that MY PARENTS wanted me and that i was lucky enough to be THEIR kid.

Wednesday, 6 April 2011 - 11:22 AM EDT

Name: "WorldSurrogacyDay"
Home Page:

Version:1.0 StartHTML:0000000167 EndHTML:0000000876 StartFragment:0000000454 EndFragment:0000000860 p { margin-bottom: 0.08in; }

Thank you for sharing your experiences of surrogacy!

Help us to promote awareness of surrogacy through World Surrogacy Day on 4th November 2011...

Tuesday, 14 June 2011 - 5:43 AM EDT

Name: "Steph"

well i am going thru a surragacy with my husband as the bio father and my best friend as the surragate, because I cant have children of my own and i think u are being unfair to woman who cant have children, by the way im not paying her any money to carry my baby!!!

Monday, 9 July 2012 - 10:53 PM EDT

Name: "junita"

hi,I am so agree with you.I m intended mother who so desperately want to have my husband biological child to loved,so all that mean in this blog all infertility couple need to give up ???

Wednesday, 25 September 2013 - 12:43 PM EDT

Name: "Michelle"

Hi Cynthia

I hope that you are well. I have seen your comment on Brians blog, and wondered if it would be possible to have some communication. I am considering being a TS for a wonderful couple, who have had several failed attempts at IVF and this will be their last shot as they are now in their 40's. I have been put of by Brians thoughts, but as you said, he is just one person. It would be great if I could hear from you and understand how you feel, that would be greatly appreciated.

I look forward to your reply


Many thanks




Saturday, 2 May 2015 - 10:21 AM EDT

Name: "Bex"

I really dislike that infertile women are attacking this blog, if brian feels this way he can't help it, it's his upbringing and his life story I think you really need to get over yourselves frankly!

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